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[21 Jan 2008|11:22pm] |
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Haven't written in forever and a million years, but a quick update. I just found out today that I matched Urology residency at the University of Virginia, and that is where I'll be for the next 5 years, starting in June. The end.
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[10 Aug 2007|08:58pm] |
so I am in Charlottesville, VA. I've been here about a week so far. It's really nice here, although it has been like 110 with the heat index (whatever the hell that means). I went and checked out Monticello while I was here, which was cool. I was also surprised to find out that a town of like 50,000 people in isolated virginia has like 5 sushi places and 6 thai places. The hospital here is like 5 times as nice as University hospital in syracuse.
Also today I went running on a trail through the woods, which I haven't done in a long while. I swallowed a bug.
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[26 Jun 2007|08:25pm] |
I was pretty sure this was a chick singing when I heard it on the radio. I'm still pretty sure it's a chick and that dude lip syncs in his videos.
If you click the music tab on their webpage, you'll also be surprised to find out that that chick from American Pie who put a trombone in Jim Pie-sexer's butt plays bass for the band.
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[30 Mar 2007|12:51pm] |
Quick update
I just finished my 3 month rotation on internal medicine. Next up is pediatrics. All in all, everything is going smoothly through year 3. Also I've decided that I plan on being a pee-pee doctor. I got to try out the davinci robot one day in december, and I was pretty hooked.
In other news 3 of our fish died in the past week. It's probably because you've been touching yourself.
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[03 Nov 2006|10:09am] |
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So I just finished my second 26+ hour shift of the week on obstetrics. I have to say, it's pretty cool if not completely gross. I have one piece of advise for anyone who's soon to be a mom out there, and planning on their first vaginal delivery. Go to classes. Half of the ladies didn't really know how to push, and the ones who hadn't gone to classes seemed to be scared of the unknown.
Oh and another thing ladies. Don't try not to poop. You're probably going to poop. Everyone does. Don't apologize for it. The doctors are used to it. If you're pushing hard enough, you might even pee too.
Also, I really like the little squawk-cry noises that babies make when they're first born.
now I'm going to sleep.
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[26 Oct 2006|08:30pm] |
"Topic report:
Does or does not amnioinfusion have an effect on the prevention of meconium aspiration syndrome?"
I can't believe I'm writing a 20 page paper about poop.
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[22 Oct 2006|04:46pm] |
Sitting at the hospital cafeteria, hearing one lady talking to another about what she reads in the newspaper, including various stories and ads:
"That guy that killed three women said he isn't sorry. That's awful. That makes me sick. Ooh cookies!"
Also, we got a bunch of new fish for our fishtank a little while ago, and one of them went missing like 2 weeks ago. Yesterday I found a completely cleaned off fish skeleton floating at the top of the tank. That and the plecostomus has been eyeballing the other fish with a hungry look in his eyes. and he keeps saying "BRAAAAAINNNNSSSS..."
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[04 Oct 2006|11:35am] |
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So it turns out that ob/gyn doesn't seem like it is going to be as bad as a lot of my classmates have made it out to be. It seems like it will be pretty fun. When I asked other people what they thought was so bad about this rotation, they say how there's a 20 minute presentation you have to give, and a 20 page paper to write. "20 pages! double-spaced! not even triple or quadruple spaced! and it has to be 20 pages with WORDS on them, not just crayon scribbles! god! this is going to be so hard! whine whine whine I'm a medical student I hate to work!"
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| Time capsule... It's a capsule, full of TIME! |
[01 Oct 2006|01:38pm] |
so I've been in third year medical school for 3 months now, having done 2 months in surgery, and one month in family medicine. I start ob/gyn tomorrow. Surgey is fun. Family medicine was fun too, I got to meet some interesting people out in the more rural areas. Including a guy who wrestled a bear once, and knocked it down twice, but couldn't pin the paws, so he didn't win the $1000. I'm not especially looking forward to Ov/gyn, as it's pretty time intensive and that means less video game time for me.
Also we got new fish. I was bored of the old ones, so we painted them new colors and glued funny noses and ears on them. ok you caught me haha we took them to the store and traded them in for better ones that was a boring story the end.
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| med school |
[14 Jun 2006|03:46pm] |
the first two years of med school are DONE. I just took the Step 1 US Medical Licensing Exam. 350 questions in 8 hours (including time for lunch).
I guess I should say that providing I PASSED the Step 1 USMLE, the first two years of medical school are done.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand....... SUMMERTIME! GO!
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| look at the size of that thing! |
[14 May 2006|09:04am] |
after contemplating the song that goes "everybody do the dinosaur," I asked the following question:
me: did dinosaurs have wangs?
wife: pterodactyls did
me: they did?
wife: yeah, how else would they fly?
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| exam week |
[10 May 2006|11:05am] |
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That test I just took today was the easiest exam in the history of exams. Everyone is saying so. Not even your mom is that easy.
With all this studying, I am thinking about how the subject of microbiology is basically just Pokemon for growed-ups. Microbiology is basically a lot of "this bacteria is aerobic and has 3 flagella and is vulnerable against amoxicillin and can attack with endotoxin." Whereas if you replace "aerobic", "flagella", "amoxicillin", and "endotoxin" with "fire-type", "heads", "electrical attacks", and "bonemerang" (yes, bonemerang, I kid you not)... you have a variation of every sentence that came out of my brother and his friends' mouths 6 years ago. Which makes me think it should be more fun. It sort of is when you're talking about chlamydia and gonorrhea and syphillis, but otherwise, not really.
It sort of gives a new meaning to the phrase "Gotta Catch'em All!"
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| bird flu |
[09 May 2006|01:22pm] |
reading about influenza virus treatments for my test tomorrow, I'm reminded of a story that happened a couple months ago that amused me.
I was shadowing a gastroenterologist at his practice, and he was seeing a patient who recently had a gastric bypass surgery. She mentioned that since the surgery, she's noticed that her skin has been very dry and even cracks and bleeds at times. This was the tail end of winter, so I'm sure that contributed somewhat, but the doc started asking her questions about her diet since the surgery. She was eating very little, and I'm a little surprised she didn't have scurvy. Anyway, the doc said that she should be eating more fat in her diet, and that eggs would be good to eat because of the particular lipids in the yolks. To which the lady replies:
"oh no, I'm not eating any eggs. Not with that bird flu going around."
Going around? Shit! when did that happen? And now it's mutated to transmit via hard boiled eggs?!
We are all screwed.
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[08 May 2006|06:21pm] |
we got a cat. she's a nipple freak. she attacked my right nipple like 8 times in the past 10 minutes. also I'm bleeding from my left shin where she climbed me. see colleen's journal for more info.
I wonder if I'll get Bartonella. You know... dun, dun, DUNUH!
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| It's windy in here! |
[01 May 2006|03:54pm] |
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Enter The Haggis - Congress |
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I left the windows open while I was gone for an hour or so, and all my papers are on the floor.
but it's a nice day outside, so I win.
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| A Proposition for You Both |
[10 Mar 2006|04:48pm] |
So the fan on my computer had been making extra noise of late, and my warranty expires in like a week. So I called up tech support, and they sent me a box to ship my computer to them, and said they'd replace the fan. I sent the computer to them last Wednesday afternoon, and it was back to me by Friday (a week ago today). However, they didn't replace the fan, they just updated the bios or something. So that sucks. My fan is making a little less noise though, so maybe they lubed it up or something.
Anyway, I set my computer up, and go to put in a CD that I had bought while my computer was away to add the music to my mp3s... When I open the CD drive, I find that my "Hackers" soundtrack CD had been shipped to Arizona and back. Hackers CD! I hope you enjoyed the trip!
Which brings me to the real point of this story. When I first got the "Hackers" CD, I really liked the track "Phoebus Apollo" by Carl Cox. Except that I thought that the song was whispering "Penis My Butthole" over and over again. It only later occurred to me that the lyric and the track title were one-and-the-same. However, to this day, when I hear it I catch my head think-singing along "PE-nis, mybutthole". And just about 20 minutes ago, when it was playing on my ipod, I realized I had been repeatedly mouthing "penis my butthole" for a minute or two. I just hope the other two guys that were at the workout room with me didn't think I was asking them.
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| storytime! |
[25 Feb 2006|12:39pm] |
Today's stories are about old ladies and short medical students!
So last friday I went to visit a friend of my aunts' at one of the nursing homes next to my school. She wasn't there, but I introduced myself to her roommate. Later, my aunt gave me a report that the elderly roommate lady said about me, "He was adorable. If I was dying of cancer and he was my doctor, I could just sit next to him and die happy". Ok, so a little creepy, but I'll take compliments where I can get them. Now, I took this to mean that I was strikingly handsome (at least as far as old ladies are concerned), but then I got some more information.
My friend Tony, one of TWO guys in my class who's shorter than me, had the following story: On one of his "shadowing" assignments last year, the doctor told him to give a breast exam to the elderly patient they were attending to. Tony, who had never done one before, nor even knew how to do one, started going in with both hands (imagine if you were trying to grab two oranges out of a pyramid of produce but didn't want to knock the whole pyramid down - it's like Fruit Jenga!) The doctor then slapped his hand (I'm not sure if this was before or after he made hand-to-boob contact), and said, "They're not a TV set, son!". The elderly woman patient however just looked at Tony and said, "When you become a doctor, I want to be your first patient," and gave him a wink.
Now what I didn't tell you is that besides being short, Tony and I also have another thing in common. Nose size. Which makes me think... big noses... short guys... old ladies... old ladies gardening... garden gnomes!! I think that the old ladies like us short, big nosed dudes because we have that sort of tchotchke appeal.
It also probably doesn't help that I have big eyebrows. Or that I enjoy wearing my favorite red pointy hat and furry shoes.
the big eyebrows are good for holding the hat up.
love, matt
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| By the pwoer of Grayskull! I have the pwoer!! |
[07 Feb 2006|07:25am] |
This is one of the best emails I've gotten in a long time:
From: Kevin White [ifvlszqvgdavra@movemail.com]
Subject: "[{POSSIBLE SPAM}] RE[7]: hello . Tue, 07 Feb 2006 10:46:47 +0300 masonm@xxxxxxx.edu Do You have enough pwoer to provide your patrner highquality S-EX on St.Valentine day? Get a MON-STER pwoer, nothing can bring your erer-ction down!Show your partner the"
Show my partner what?? You got cut off! I want to know more about this MON-STER pwoer! And quickly! We must hurry! It is almost St.Valentine day! Oh Kevin White of movemail, you have saved me! (and now that you speak of it, my erer-ction has been acting a little depressed lately)
So I open the email, and the message says:
"
Mxprx Uegvl
Tue, 07 Feb 2006 10:46:47 +0300
"
So they must be magic words of some kind. I'm going to shout them in key situations and see if it grants me this "MON-STER pwoer!" that it promises. I share this knowlege with all of you because you've been so good to me over all these years, but please don't give them out to everyone. If anyone who wanted could have MON-STER pwoer!, then it wouldn't really be MON-STER pwoer! anymore.
I'm looking forward to my new pwoers.
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